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The Saltport



Evening Edition

5th day of the

2nd tenday of Ches


King Calls for Holes to Be Sealed


King Everett Maxwell McCoy has decreed that there is too much traffic going to and from the below layers, especially after the recent zombie infestation, and has demanded that all portals, stairwells, trap doors, pits, holes, cracks, craters, windows, voids, mouths, gaps, chasms, breaches, passages, fractures, fissures, splits, tears, and shafts to the below layers be sealed up or heavily guarded.


When asked for an official statement, the King spoke eloquently, “We need to tighten up our holes down there. It’s been a mess lately. And the worst part is, just when you get inside, it’s really wet, so we’ve got some leakage issues that I’m hoping will clear up as well. The smell isn’t bad, but technically they’re my holes, so that’s no surprise if you know what I mean.”


Trouble down in the Guilds Forum today as the Lennox Prewitt City Guard Building was razed to the ground by a sudden conflagration. The fire was started around midnight and it's origin is currently being investigated - arson is suspected.

One of the guards was able to get a good look at the fleeing suspects and is currently speaking with investigators. It is also suspected that one of the arsonists left two of his nuts behind at the scene.


The City Guard building is, or was, rather,  one of the city's most iconic symbols in Saltport's continued fight for equality and justice for the sub-classes under the law. Lennox Prewitt, the infamous city guardsman after whom the building was later named became a legend in the fight for equality when he famously refused to enforce the city's "Separate but Shorter" laws that prevented dwarves from using the same public facilities as others. 

It was when a particular dwarf named Lilly Gardens stood on a stool and drank out of the tall fountain and was immediately whisked away by loyal guardsman that Prewitt stepped in and said that one day little short boys and girls will be able to join hands with little tall boys and girls - and drink out of the same fountains. 

While it may be true that the City Guard building has completely finished burning; the fire of our city's devotion to justice is not!



Flames engulf the Guild’s Forum as the City Guard building burns. A source within the City Guards reports that the culprits were seen just before the blaze ignited. The source claims the identities of both individuals are still a mystery. "We had a guard who saw their faces, however, they weren't noteworthy individuals. They looked like they had been sleeping in the sewers, and they didn't look like they had eaten in weeks."


The Saltport Sentinel got an exclusive interview with the guard who claims to have seen the alleged arsonists and he had this to say, "Yea, it was crazy, right before the blaze I saw these two guys, they smelled awful, like they had slept inside a dead beholder, and they looked anxious and very suspicious. Almost like a couple of murderous hobos."

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